Being a military boyfriend is tough.. much tougher than the 5 mile runs and the 27 mile ruck marches with 40 pounds on your back, granted it is an assault pack. Whats so tough is the fact that we cant be with the ones we love when we want to be. The distance is so much greater than any military wife can imagine. The love is so much more potent and intense than anyone other than these people can feel. The pain that they experience is so much more real than anyone can express in true words. The fights created from just simple visits is more horrific than any war ever fought on any territory known to man. I am writing this to express to the love of my life the pain I feel on a daily basis because of her absence. ! ; I am writing this so the people of the world can know, that if I was a rich man I would so be on unauthorized absence every single weekend even if I had to fly the 4000 miles to see you just for a few hours my love. The military has done great things for me granted... I love the fact that in 4 tours I will be able to see possibly 4 different parts of the world, minus the places I have killed, or fixed humvees for those that kill or chow for everyone or whatever it may be, fixing those who kill who have been wounded trying to kill, you get the point. Some say that the Infantry is a bad thing, that we are crazy, that we have no feelings this is to prove to you that we do, that we feel, and that the snow in maui is an incredible feeling. So we may be a little crazy but its not a bad crazy, you go through life knowing you are going to die one of these days... or even have the possibility of dying one of these days because of some war you don't even know if you real! ly support... some good deal huh just to get some college tuition.. I joined for the adventure, the thrill of the kill so I thought, I joined because I love what I used to do and I will do anything to preserve that fact, I joined so my daughter my mother and father my brothers and all those people that have similar things out there dont have to go through the same shit that the families of the victims of the world trade towers.

I know that everyone has a loved one somewhere that they miss. I know that everyone has a kid thousands of miles away, in one way or another. I know not everyone has the feelings or the brother hood that people that have loved ones or kids thousands of miles away that we as military boyfriends or fathers have. I know not everyone crys alone and never lets anyone know about it because they have to stay tough. I know because I am one of those people.

I love my babe! and baby, and i would do anything to be with them right now, even if that would be going awol..though I know how bad that would FUCK up my life. I would not really do that but that feeling always stays in the back of my mind as an escape, the feelings that we go through, that I know all of us go through, because I have talked to these guys. So i have to channel tis aggression somehow, and the only way I know how is to become a PT stud and max everythingout with aggression. Music has brought such a strange new meaning, I thought I knew how to stop and smell the flowers, but now that has a totally different meaning. I wish I could do that with them. I wish I could just be with them.

The pain that this brings them, the seperation that they are not used to, that I am not used to is so intense, and this intensity drive me, us..The fear of being a military boyfriend, and having nothing tying you and your girlfriend down sca! res us..it puts thoughts in our heads that we know aren't true but we need to be reminded regularly just to ensure us. The simple joy of just being able to talk to our girlfriends regularly even knowing that one of these days there is a possibility that it will be few and far inbetween that those phone calls will happen, makes us more than happy. The knowing that eventually we will be in the arms of our loved one soon gives us hope and drags us through the hell that we go through on a daily basis.

The lengths that we as military boyfriends would go, to just show our loves. The things we would do just to prove for that one second that what we say, when we are meaning to say it is true. The shit that needs to be done just to make our military girlfriends our military wives so they dont have to suffer anymore, far out weighs anything this world has to offer.. Most of us are used to getting what we want with work, and bei! ng a military boyfriend is possibly the hardest job I myself have ever experienced emotionally.